heathen scripture

I’ve always gone with ‘the squirts’.

You know it’s bad when you throw common decency and personal privacy to the wind and open the stall door and swing it back towards you so you have something to bite down on to help you make it through the pain.

“shitting through the eye of a needle” with Rahn’s addendum of “at 50 paces” :)

and copied from a parallel facebook discussion: “Shitting through the eye of a needle at 50 paces”

Putting on a Cracktacular.

Winning the Award for Excrements.

Expelling in your field of duty.

Glittering the shitter.

Demonstrating Scheissenburg’s Principle.

Off to perform an act of Spoken Merde.

And maybe shitterating as well, but that’s a bit of an afterthought.

Mixing the ‘butt-choc daiquiri’…

Off to reshittivate the lavatory.

Got a tincture in the sphinctre (or got a puncture in the sphinctre)

I’ve got a sudden case of antacid rain.

Anyone want to watch Gastroboy?

As we were saying in Morocco: Porcelain Pyrotechnics.

For the tourist t-shirt
Bolivia: Where what presents itself as a fart is guaranteed digestion of the ano

Well, ‘Delhi-belly” was a term thrown around alot in India for this ~ but that was more to do with the overall condition less the specific symptom of intenstine extraction.

Nothing quite like being a ’slave to the cistern’

bali belly

Outstanding. Particularly enjoying slave to the cistern, Gastroboy, and porcelain pyrotechnics. Tim, perhaps reshiterating could be the go? “To reshiterate my earlier point…” Particularly given the incredible frequency of attacks, especially for the Doctor.

And Rahn, my hat is off to you sir.

To further explicate the Doctor’s earlier comment, another doctor once explained to me that the burning sensation around the anus is due to stomach fluids not being properly packaged within a protective mucus coating, as is the case with a normal healthy solid log. In liquid form the required binding has not taken place, and the juices are still active.
“Ah,” said I. “So it’s actually stomach acid burning your arse on the way out.”
“No,” he said. “Not stomach acid. Stomach juices. Your stomach juices contain a very strong digestive enzyme. So when you have diarrhoea, you are actually DIGESTING YOUR OWN ARSE.” (emphasis mine.)

This made me burst into hysterical laughter at random intervals for at least a week. And turned into the acronym for Digesting Your Own Ring, aka DYOR!, which is what one should yell at times of great distress, including the toilet stall kind.

We usually just call it ‘a bad case of the runs’…

Starfish Gravy comes to mind.

Starfish Gravy! Splendid. The more people can track down, the better. I’m looking for the most inventive and innovative we can find. That tiny touch of genius.

- dropping the kids off at the pool.

- laying some cable.

Splatterdashing.

Storm in a One Cup.